


Cas is unbelievable

by serClizia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sex Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 06:21:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4049470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serClizia/pseuds/serClizia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Castiel doesn't understand condoms</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cas is unbelievable

I mean, it’s not even the first time we do it. The first time has been weeks, months ago.  
He already saw me wearing one. And he always stared at me with that kind of resolute look that he has when he’s observing something very carefully. Or when he is pondering over what he sees. Anyway, condoms have definitely showed up already in our… (relationship?), in our… (sex life?!).  
Yeah, well, they’ve been here before. And now we’re here, same old bed, same old bunker, and he is looking at me like he’s never seen one.

«Jesus, Cas! I get that your religion is not positive about this stuff, but they should have given you some basic info.»

He tilts his head, of course.

«It’s not my religion, Dean. Catholicism is just a strange belief developed by humans toward my father that…»

«Okay, okay… don’t go all Jehovah's witness on me…»

«I’m not…»

«Let me finish. You’re totally missing the point, here.»

«Which is?»

«Do you really not know how to wear it?!»

Cas scrutinizes me. (making puppy eyes) (No, dammit, I did not just think something like that!)

«It’s not like that. I saw you doing it before. I’m pretty confident I can repeat your movements.»

«So what?! You have been staring at it for a looong time, it’s starting to be creepy, you know.»  
I mean, he should be looking at the other thing. Staring at a condom is seriously creepy.

«I don’t get its purpose. Why should I wear this latex thing to make love with you?»

(kaboom)

«You didn’t just say, “making love”, did you?»

I’m facepalming and I didn’t even realize doing it.

«Oh, I said it, Dean. Isn’t it what we’re doing?»

«Uhm. Again. You’re missing the point, Cas. And the point is…» What was the point again? Oh, yes. «…that we need it to protect ourselves.»

«Uh, I get it… like my…»

«Like your angel blade, yes. But in a different way. We need that to avoid diseases. The ones you get when you… when you do this kind of stuff.»

(I refuse to say the words “making love”. I just - I can’t.)

«I don’t have diseases. I’m an angel.»

«Oh. Right. Well, maybe I have them?»

«You don’t. I checked.»

«What do you mean, you checked?»

The douchebag has the balls to just shrug.

«I checked.»

«Castiel, I swear to God…»

«I am an angel of the Lord. I know when humans are sick. You are not sick.»

Stubborn son of a bitch.

I look at him. He looks at me. It’s a murderous-staring contest. Well, mine is murderous, he’s just doing his stern ‘I-am-the-cool-and-cryptic-angel-of-the-lord’ look.

I can’t fucking resist, I crack up laughing.

«You know what?»

He looks at me, confused.

«What?»

«You could have said it before.»

And for a (long) while, neither of us is able to speak again.


End file.
